I have been making of things I want to do once I have a job and am making money to afford to do such things. Unfortunetly none of those things are motivating for me today. Which also means that it will be even longer before I can afford to do those things. Which also means that unless I win the lotto (which I am not playing) or hook up with a rich dude (no rich dudes run in my circles) that the likely hood of me moving back to the MidWest is getting greater and greater. That in itself is a double edged sword.
I know that it will be easier to get a job in the MidWest purely from the fact that it is not still under a giant economic pressure like the great state of California. I also have more connections there which make it a bit easier. I also miss my family alot and as it gets closer to the holidays I wish to be there more and more. But it is cold there and I feel like there is less "life" there. There always seems to be something going on here and I am not ready to say good bye to the friends I have made.
I feel like I have spent the last 6 months waiting; waiting for a job, waiting for an opportunity, waiting for God to show me something.
I cry at the thought of leaving here and moving back, but I really don't know what else to do. Being in this large of debt with no job hopes totally stresses me out.