FaceSpace

I keep debating over my feelings for Facebook.
On one hand I love that it is an easy way for me to keep track (note: not in touch) with friends and people in my life.
On the other hand I do not like that everyone and everything is connected through it.
Some things to consider: (in no order what so ever)
1) I have been on Facebook since pretty early on. I remember the days when it was only for college students and when my friends at Iowa State had it but I had to wait for Northern Iowa to get it. It was a private club. I liked that, I felt special.
2) My dad is on Facebook. That is just weird.
3) As mentioned previously, I dont actually use Facebook to keep in touch with people. Keeping in touch implies more than just reading their statuses,  checking out their pictures and an occasional comment or like. It implies actual conversation, little to none of which I do. I religiously read statuses and always have to check out the pictures, but barely ever to I use Facebook for anything other than legal stalking.
4) I have often thought about friend requesting every person I have more than 2 mutual friends with. (Horrible grammer I know)  It would be a fascinating case in Its a Small World.  Everytime I think about I talk myself out of it. Mostly because by doing so it would allow these strangers into my world.
In a blog I have thought about, but not posted or written much of, are the truths about my fortress.  The elaborate system of walls, which I have built to protect myself. If I friend request every Tom, Dick, and Sally, I am allowing guest passes into Jannaland. I am not ok with that. (Confession: I have 3 different email accounts, a FB account (duh), a Twitter account (not connected in any way(on purpose)) and this blog, all so I can keep parts of my life separated)
Also it really annoys me when people I dont know ask to be my facebook friend.
5) I also often think about defriending most people on my current friend list. Those people from college who I never speak to, and if I ran into them at the mall, wouldn't know what to say to them. But I can usually justify most of the people staying. "They're family, if I unfriend them it would create family tension." "This is a good business contact." "If I ever find myself in XYZ city, I can use this person for info." "They always have funny posts." "I like seeing pictures of their cute kids" Nothing good, nothing valid. But yet they remain my "friends". Maybe I need to go back to my old thought of "If I would enjoy a meal with you, you can be my facebook friend."
6) I completely dislike that EVERYTHING has a Facebook page now. My favorite band, the grocery store, the bowling alley, the apartment complex. I do not like that so much of my world, of THE world is contained in one little website. (I almost called it an app, until I remembered that it does still exist mostly as a website.) If Facebook dies, so much dies with it. My trust issues are not ok with that.

But yet there it is, this thing that rules so much of my world, so much of the world period. There it sits and there it shall stay until I can learn to actually keep in touch with people and deal with a lack of information.

P.S. I got really distracted while typing this and starting thinking about comas, colons, and semi-colons, more than I should. I should probably learn how to use the last two better.

Random Christmas Thoughts

This year I have been struggling a bit with Christmas being Jesus's birthday and how to celebrate that. I keep thinking "when I have kids I will ..." "when I get married we will..." Not sure why I can't start anything now.
For me birthdays are the big deal with lots of presents all about you. Christmas is about Jesus and family and spending time together and giving to others.
So what does that look like? Currently it looks like going through my closets and taking a sack full of goodies down to the Open Door Mission. Donating money to and buying stuff for Christmas in Village One, and just generally trying to be nicer to people and show them the love of Christ.
But tonight I sat down to make my Christmas lists. My list of things I need to buy for the ones I love. I am 100% behind the idea of buying things because I see something you would love, not because I need to buy you something. And that is the standard rule I follow when it comes to my friends. Which can get a little akward at times due to them giving me gifts and me not getting them anything in return, but Christmas isnt and shouldnt be about buying things just for the sake of buying them.
But family, that is a different story. In my family we draw names between my siblings and inlaws. Then we either do a group gift or individual for my parents and now there are 3 grandkids.
We also send out lists, so people have something to go off of. I started making out lists and ideas of what I want to buy one of my sisils (who I have this year) and already had some stuff in mind prior to recieving her actual list. I know one thing for sure and will go to the mall tomorrow (maybe if I ever go to bed) to look at some other stuff on her list. My parents are done thanks to a group gift this year, which I just need to wrap before they come to town on Thursday (even though they prob wont come into my apartment).
As I starting thinking about what to buy my niece and nephews I got a little overwhelmed. Not so much about what to buy a 3 yr old and two 1 yr olds, cuz I have their lists and like I said before birthdays are a bigger deal to me so Christmas is going to be an outfit and toy or book or movie. But I got overwhelmed at the thought that one child will have 6 people buying for them. And if I know my family there will a bit of over buying. It also stresses me out thinking about the possiblity of duplicate gifts. When we draw names I can just call my mom and confirm with her what she is buying, and then all I have to think about is the outlaws of married siblings if I have their name. But with the kids there are 5 other houses I need to contact. For some reason at their birthdays this did not worry me but now I am stressing.
Definetly going to call my mom tomorrow and talk about it to her and probably my little sister as well. So I will know 2 of the 5, hopefully.
Also a got a little stressed when I realized that Christmas is a little over 10 days away and I have to shop, wrap and ship all my presents this week to guarentee that they will get there before Christmas. And now that I thought about that I just got more stressed.

I went from fun night of Christmas planning watching Polar Express and drinking hot cocoa to stressing out. Hopefully I can turn off my brain and get some sleep so I can go in early to do shopping instead of waiting til 6pm when everyone is off work and the stores get crazy.