I can't deal with the rain and the cold. I can't deal with sharing my heart with someone and them not caring. I can't deal with the overly attached girl who needs to tell me all her problems. I can't deal with the boy who isn't what I need. I can't deal with the God that won't take away the pain. I can't deal with the friend who only thinks of themself.
So I shut down. I crawl into bed and pretend the world doesn't exist. Like I don't have to fit in a workout, or do laundry or clean my room or prep for Bible study or return text messages.
I crawl into bed and close my eyes and wish it all away. I don't pray it away. I don't ask the Savior I believe in, to give me strength, or to take it away. I don't tell people that I need space or time. I just stop. As if stopping will make it all go away. As if during those moments the world will figure itself out without me and I will be able to step back in and be at a better place than before.
Granted there are some times when this is the case. When I just need to step away, calm myself down, get some sleep that I have been missing.
However this is not always the case and no matter how much I will the problems and issues and overwhelming nature of life to just disappear, it does not and I am still stuck facing it all.
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