Emails

I should have started this blog 6 months ago when I moved out here. Then I could have written all about the wierd interviews (ok only two) that I have had, and the turmoils of writing and rewriting resumes and cover letters. The world has truly missed out on some fun times in the last 6 months of my life, so instead you get to hear about how I got an email on Friday afternoon.
The Friday afternoon email was sent on Wednesday afternoon, 3:30 pm Wednesday afternoon to be exact. The contents of the email were about an interview day on Thursday afternoon, Thursday from 2pm - 5pm, less than 24 hours after the email was sent. One of the downfalls of not having internet at home is that things like this can happen very easily. It is not always easy for me to get to a coffee shop to check my email so things often wait at least 24 hours or longer in my email box.
But you see there was another issue with this email, besides the short notice and my lack of internet. The interview was being held over a thousand miles away from where I currently am. So even if I had recieved the email on Wednesday afternoon the probablity of me making it to the interview was very small, ok basically non existant, unless I would have gotten in the car that very second and drove all night long, or had money to waste and jumped on the first plane out. Neither of which are the case. But imagine the look on their faces had I walked into the interview after driving on night, exhausted and maybe even starving. THAT is dedication to a job.

Friend Frustration

Recently I have become more and more frustrated with the friends in my life. Those that are fully aware of my job situation and my general need to have something to do with my days.
I realize that my friends can not just give me a job nor can they apply to jobs for me, but they do have the power of informing me of job openings, as well as putting in a good word for me at their companies or with friends and family that are hiring.
I am also having a bit of frustration with people who already have jobs and are looking for second and third jobs while leaving me in the dark. Me, the girl who has worked a total of 4 days in the past 6 months, the girl who is starting to wonder how she is going to pay bills, the girl who wishes life wasn't about who you know instead of what you know, the girl whose frustrations are leading her to doubt herself.

Search

I feel like I have reached a lack of caring in my search for jobs. I actually go through stages. Most stages are of the lack of caring variety.
I still feel for the most part that I want to do event planning and marketing. Unfortunetly more and more I feel like it is an unreachable dream.
Searching for a job is hard work. Searching for a job in California makes one wonder if they will ever get hired. EVER.

Today I thought about how when I lived in Iowa, while unhappy with lots of things, at least I was making money and not having to worry about how I was going to pay the bills. Now that is a daily concern, or I just try and avoid that thought.

Ok this post is depressing. Off to sleep and not think about this anymore.

What am I great at?

The other day the neighbor boy (actually a 28 year old man) asked me what I was great at. I laughed because I have known the answer to this for many years and feel that it adds to my current dilemma.
I am not great at anything, but I am good at lots of things. I am a good cook, and photographer, and teacher, and hairstylist, and crocheter, and basketballer, and loads of other things, but I am not exceptionally great at any of them. If I had one amazing skill that is where I would be focusing my time and energy right now. On doing something that I am great at. On being something that I can excel at.
I guess I am a great listener and observer. What kind of job can I get with those skills?

What to do???

Yesterday while meeting with my pastor he informed me that I needed to figure out what I wanted. WHAT?!?!?! Apparently me living as the wind takes me isn't a very purposeful life, nor profitable.

I have been couch surfing for the last 6 months in the beautiful Long Beach, CA area. I came out here after living in Iowa for 27 years. I had spent the last three of them in a small south eastern Iowa town with a good job. I also spent those three years looking for another job. Small town living is not the life for me. A short discussion with some friends and my hand been forced at work lead me to quit my safe job and load up my car and move.
So in addition to couch surfing I have also been job hunting, in a state that is having some pretty serious issues. The major downfall for the job hunt besides the lack of jobs is the lack of knowing what I want. I have this ideal in my head of working for a convention center or hotel as an event coordinator. That is what I would love to do, I think. In all honesty I have no clue.
So here I am with a blog and not much else. I tell myself and others that I what I want is to do what God wants me to do. Which is completely true, but I don't know what He wants me to do. Does He want me to be a bartender, or a nanny, or a lunch lady? Does He want me in Long Beach or Redondo Beach, or maybe back in the Midwest? Maybe it doesn't really matter what He wants, or maybe He wants me to do what I want. Which goes back to the original issue.
I need to figure out what I want.