The Past

<p>Tonight I got a very unexpected friend request. The man who has the record for my longest relationship wanted to be my facebook friend. The man who I dated off and on for 3 years, cheating on me and breaking my heart multiple times, wanted back in my life after no contact for over 6 years. <br>
It took me a long time to get over him, to get over those feelings of hurt and betrayal from a man who said he wanted to marry me, who wanted to father my children. <br>
I had closed and locked the door on that part of my life. I no longer associated with people from that time, I avoided the places we would hang out. I had moved on.
And tonight, tonight I was faced with all of that all over again. Those feelings of hurt and betrayal as I saw his name and the photo of him with his wife and kids.
Five years ago I would have cried. I would have grabbed a bottle of wine, and drank until the tears contained nothing but alcohol. I would have made some phone calls and let my anger guide me down a path of poor choices.
But tonight, as my heart sank as those memories came flooding back, I was allowed a moment of reflection. I am no longer that girl that would allow a second and third chance to a boy who cheated on me. I am no longer the girl who would let her pain lead her down a path of destruction.  I am no longer the girl who would drown her tears in alcohol.
I am now the woman who moves on. The woman who recognizes her pain and lets it go. The woman who sees her past and by the grace of God does not have to relive it. There might still be tears tonight, not out of pain, but out of thankfulness to a God who has saved me from it all. A God who has blessed me more than I deserve, a God who will continue to bless me more than I can imagine.

I will not be adding to my friends list tonight or anytime in the near future, not that name anyway.