What are you waiting for?

I read a blog recently that talked about purity rings and waiting till your married. In it the girl talks about how she took off her purity ring not because she was going to go out and have sex but because of the symbolism behind it. Her life wasnt about waiting and that is something that I think we as a culture dont stress enough.
Our lives shouldnt be about waiting. We already have everything. Why should I wait till I find a husband or  wait till I have a kid? Why can't I live my life right now to the fullest? Why has society decided that I am less because I'm single?
I am no less important or valued by my Creator because I do not have a husband or children. Maybe in some ways I am more valued because I can commit to every Sunday morning hanging with middle schoolers and taking them on mission trips and showing them how awesome a Jesus centered life can be.

This is something I need to be reminded of daily, how much God loves me in the here and now. His love for me does not wait for me to get married or wait for me to have children. His love is here and now and powerful and wonderful.

This is one of the things I hope my middle schoolers (specifically the girls) learn. God did not put us on this earth to sit and wait. God put us here to do and live and love. I want them to see and hear through my actions and words that my life is about God's plan and God's love and living an amazing Jesus centered life. Lucky for me I am not an early Jew. I do not have to wait for the coming Messiah. And luckily He loves me.

My true love has already come, He saved my soul and loves me unconditionally.  And He is pretty much perfect. Now if only I could get him to do the dishes.

Failures

I had a moment of panic last week during church that when it comes to judgement day and I am standing before the cross that I will fail for the times that I have been a poor friend, for the times when I have failed to proclaim God's name, for the times I have failed to hold on to God and nothing else. For the times when I have saught the pleasures of this world instead of holding out for the prizes of heaven.

Tonight as I drove around after returning a movie that I thought was going to be a comedy but was actually pretty deep and brought up some nasty things in me, I started to feel bad and like a failure. But this time not in God's eyes but the worlds.
I am 31 years old. Single, never married, no kids. Work a job (two actually) not because either of them are something I love but because I have to pay the bills. (Frankly I dont know what I would do if I wasn't just working to not be in debt.) Dont own a home. Live in a shoebox of a studio apartment that I struggle to keep clean, because even when I have time off from work or my non booming social life, I can't seem to make myself get off the couch for more then 5 mins at a time.

Lucky for me these two feelings didn't intersect and tonight as I drove around listening to K-love (because that is the Christian thing to do [cheesey]) I didn't feel like a failure in God's eyes and I knew that even though I am a bit of a screw up (sometimes larger than others) that God still loves me and is still proud of me and doesn't care that my house is a mess or that I dont know what I am doing with my life. He knows that I love Him and that even when things suck a lot that I won't turn my back on Him. That everyday I am becoming less of the person I was before, and more of the person He wants me to be. That as long as I try to please Him I can't fail and failure in the world's eyes mean nothing.