Designer???

The other day I was on this huge creative kick. I worked on headbands and some baby clothes (or really just idea for baby clothes) and I started thinking that maybe I want to be a kids clothing designer. Do cute stuff cheap b/c frankly it sucks to spend money on baby clothes when they fit for like a week. That is my dream job of the week.

I have also made some pretty serious decisions that basicially end with the idea of unless it is a part time job I will not take a full time job that doesn't lead to my 10 year plan, which at this moment besides being a designer, also is to be an event planner. Crazyness is about to insue people, utter and complete crazyness. Feeling motivated to work hard again so away I go.

Yesterday I spent the afternoon at Disneyland celebrating a friend's birthday. Today one of my roommates made the comment about how it must be nice to be on vacation all the time and go to Disney whenever I want.
This might be true if I had money to blow and wasn't concerned at all about how I was going to pay bills. But unfortunetly I do not have a father who is trying to buy my love and is paying for me to live this life or paying to have all my belongings shipped across the country.
It might also be true if I didn't spend every day looking for jobs and applying and applying and applying and get rejected and rejected and rejected and rejected. Ones self worth really tends to go down the tubes and there is alot of self doubt involved in that, as well as when you feel like you are surrounded by people who don't want you succeed. Not that they want me to fail, they just don't want me to succeed.

Also, what is the correct response when a company says that you will hear from them on Friday and it has been a week since that said Friday? I sent over an email on the Monday following that Friday but have still heard nothing. Not sure how I feel about calling them, partly because I am in a funk right now, which is kinda crazy because I was on one heck of a working kick the other day.

The waiting game

I have now had two phone interviews with one company and a phone and face to face interview with another company. While I understand the need to interview other people and make sure they find the most qualified candidate I also dislike the fact that I sit here waiting. It is times like this that I want to change my 10 year plan towards HR and work in recruiting and hiring and remind those departments about the pain of sitting and waiting and about how even though it sucks it is nice to get a reject letter because then you know for sure. You know that they got your application, you know that they found someone else better, and in rare cases you know that you suck.
Wouldn't that be nice? If companies would not only send you a reject letter but also say why.

Dear Mr. Jones,
Thank you for applying for our company. While we are very sure that you think you are a skilled writer, you might want to work on your editing and spell checking skills. While it is great that you spent three years in Africa feeding the poor, this skill does not translate to the world of aerodynamics.
Next time we recommend you applying for a job you are actually qualified for, like working at the soup kitchen.
Thank you,
HR!!!

Ahh that would be soo good, or at least a personality builder/education tool. Obviously there would have to be some restraints on that for legal reasons.

So this is what I do while I wait. I become slightly absurd and my mind wanders and I apply for more jobs b/c that is what the cool kids do.

Excitment

Was going to post today about the oddity that is the phone interview but just got a call for a followup phone interview and am through the roof excited. It has been a long 6 months, so this is feeling good.

But phone interviews are pretty crazy. You can't read the interviewers expressions, but you also don't have to worry about traffic getting to a place late or super early, or the akward handshake. Best part is you don't have to dress up, which I truly enjoyed yesterday as I sat on my bedroom floor in my jeans and band tshirt. And I am going to love it again tomorrow as I once again sit on the bedroom floor in jeans and a shirt (or sweater, Long Beach has been getting chilly)

I am actually having a super hard time right now focusing. Granted the job, while at a company I would love to work for, is not in California, and part of me just isn't ready to move yet, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it.

I have been making of things I want to do once I have a job and am making money to afford to do such things. Unfortunetly none of those things are motivating for me today. Which also means that it will be even longer before I can afford to do those things. Which also means that unless I win the lotto (which I am not playing) or hook up with a rich dude (no rich dudes run in my circles) that the likely hood of me moving back to the MidWest is getting greater and greater. That in itself is a double edged sword.
I know that it will be easier to get a job in the MidWest purely from the fact that it is not still under a giant economic pressure like the great state of California. I also have more connections there which make it a bit easier. I also miss my family alot and as it gets closer to the holidays I wish to be there more and more. But it is cold there and I feel like there is less "life" there. There always seems to be something going on here and I am not ready to say good bye to the friends I have made.
I feel like I have spent the last 6 months waiting; waiting for a job, waiting for an opportunity, waiting for God to show me something.
I cry at the thought of leaving here and moving back, but I really don't know what else to do. Being in this large of debt with no job hopes totally stresses me out.