Random Blabber

As I was getting ready this morning trying to think of what I wanted to do to fill my day (i decided on sitting at Panera and applying for jobs, tomorrow I am going to do laundry and run to the bank) since I don't have to work til Friday and need to find a way to fill my days. I thought about how I have all this time on my hands but not a whole lot to do with it. I could travel and go visit people I love and haven't seen in a long time, but I can't really afford to. Which lead to me thinking about how we work so hard so we can afford to do the things we need and to do the things we want, but then once we have money to do so we don't have the time because we are busy working. I hate that thought and I really dislike money and all that comes with it, and would like to find a happy balance of being able to afford to pay the bills and having time on my hands to spend with the people I love.



I have been persuing this guy at work recently and am not sure how I feel about it all now. I feel wierd going after him because I don't know how he feels about Jesus, because I just don't really know anything about him. Except he is cute and has a chin dimple. And so I feel like I should just drop it because he could not love Jesus. But then at the same time I feel like I should just keep on this path because how will I learn how he feels about Jesus if I don't.

But I have expressed my interest in him, I have told others and others have told him. And I finally took the step and facebook friended him, with a cute little message, he accepted my request but sent no message back.
I want to be pursued. I do not want to have to make all the moves.

Which brings me to another thought, how to Christian men feel about being pursued by Christian women? I have no clue where I got this thought but I feel like it is un Christian for the girl to go after the guy. Seriously where did that thought come from? Maybe a part of it has to do with the man being the head of the household. It just leaves all of these feelings of uncertainity and doubt and take away from me as the strong powerful woman I am, and makes in harder for me to stand out and be me when I meet guys.
It is yucky and gross and I just try and remember how God thinks I am awesome and that is all that matters.