Week in review

For the most part I have had a rather productive week. I figured out how to make pants, a new design for a hooded vest, and set up my crafting area. Picked up some fabric to make a hoodie and some other fabric stuff for my "clothing line"
I also went to a yoga and a pilates class. Yoga was fun and hurt and bit the next day but in a good way, pilates nearly killed me and laughing and moving hurt for several days afterwards. It still hurts to sneeze. My ribs seriously feel like they need to be removed. I wonder if this is what it feels like after a car accident.
I tried out a new church today. It was a pretty good experience and I am pretty sure I will give it a second try.
Oh and I had 2.5 phone interviews and set up a face to face interview for next week. Kinda nervous about the interview, especially since I have forgotten the name of the man who called me. :) But I know who I am supposed to interview with so that counts.

It also snowed today in the great city of Omaha. It looks beautiful but I know it is cold and wet and it had made me miss California and my California friends. As did church this morning and videos of Disney and Desperate Housewives and a lonely Friday night. I know I need to work hard and get a job and make the monies so I go back and visit soon, but I am just not feeling it. The job part, not the visiting part. I am really loving doing the creative thing and making the clothes. I am actually pretty sad b/c I have to spend tomorrow supervising carpet install and doing house stuff instead of spending it in my creative suite. BLAH. Oh well such is the life of the girl who is living rent free.

My story

I was thinking today as I was walking back home from dropping of yet another job application on Day 573 of the great job search. (ok it hasn't been that many days but it feels like it)
I was thinking today about how great of a story I have. I got to live in Long Beach and rock the beach California life for almost 9 months. Not that it wasn't hard to not have a job and a source of income, but it is pretty amazing that I got to do that.
I made a decision that I was stuck and needed to restart, so I quit my good job with a good income at a good company because it wasn't what I wanted in life.
Still not overly sure what I want but I know that what I had wasn't it. California gave me a great time to figure things out and refresh and get my head back into the game. Now I know what I don't want and that is to settle. I am not going to settle for anything less than what I desire. I want to make kids clothes so I am going to do it. I want to do events so I am going to do it. I want a job that will give me the chance to create and be with people and have the freedom to explore my life. So I am going to.

Had two phone interviews today and feeling good about life, except that Nebraska is cold right now and my bedroom has a goofy heater, as does "my office".
I should change and get ready to go workout but yoga last night kicked my butt and I am not sure I can do it two nights in a row. I think I will just go unpack some more, so I can continue on my life.

Lack of Motivation

When I was in Long Beach, I couldn't wait to get to Omaha and get my creativity on. Now that I am here I am having some issues. I still havent completely unpacked but I need to clean first so I can move furniture around so I can unpack. I feel like I need to unpack before I can start working on the other stuff.
I did apply for two jobs yesterday and paid bills so that is semi productive. I also went to dinner with a college friend, so that counts too right???
So far today I have checked my email, played on facebook, and watched PBS. I am looking for jobs now as well, but haven't really done much else, such as eat breakfast, or lunch since it is past noon now. :)

I told my sisal about my idea to open an Etsy shop and she was super encouraging and supportive. Now I just need to get my butt in gear and get to work.

Omaha

I am now in Omaha, doing the job search thing there. I definetly am going through the whole nesting, setting things up, not really wanting to actually look for jobs. Tomorrow I have to go to the coffee shop to try and figure out what is up with my brothers internet. Hopefully when I walk down there, some of the other shops in the hood will have help wanted signs and I can get a little part time work going. Except working is going to be this super strange feeling. That is all I could think of as I was putting stuff in my new closet and hanging up suits. The thought of having to put a suit on again and dressing up and going to work feels strange.

It will be super nice to connect with old friends again as well. Going to dinner tomorrow with one of my college girls tomorrow and get to meet her boyfriend. Excited about that.
Also excited about how encouraged I feel by my brother and his wife. Encouraged to find a job but also encouraged to create and be crafty and use the other skills that I have. I have a feeling I am going to like it here alot.

Motivation

Last night my church family prayed for me and the next step in my journey. It was amazing as the people around me prayed for me to find a job, to be safe and comfortable in Omaha.
One of my friends prayed for motivation. As I listened to the words he spoke I realized how important that prayer was to me. As I look forward to the next stage in my life I know that my need to motivate myself and keep myself going is the main thing that is going to stand between me and any success I have.
I have realized more and more what things motivate me and am excited to get comfy in my new room and make a motivation wall.

I am excited to have space to create kids clothes and work on art and photography and crochet and just create. And get a job and make money and hang with friends and their beautiful children. I am excited to see what God is going to do and where we will be going together.

I want to find a job that allows me to dabble in lots of things that I like to do. Or find people to finish things out for me.
I like to take pictures but I don't like doing much with them except posting them on Facebook. :) And I want a nicer camera, which was going to be my reward for finding a job in LA but since that isn't happening I am not sure when it will.
I like making things, like clothes and scarfs and blankets, but I have never sold anything and a few shirts that I have made I like too much to give away (I am worried that the people won't appreciate them)
I like writing or at least have a lot of good ideas for different things, websites, books, articles, etc. but am not the best writer and would prefer to just come up with ideas and outlines and have someone fine tune it for me.

I really just need to surround myself with people that are supportive of my craziness and keep me going and motivated. I also need people who tell me that I CAN.
I go through these phases where I stop doing what I love because of the thought that someone else is better at it than me, that I am not good enough. I need to push those thoughts out of my mind and get to work.

And now I feel motivated but am tired so maybe I will work from bed and when I fall asleep I will be done.

Today

Today I will do things that I enjoy.
Today I will be a productive member of society.
Today I will work on both things I need to do and things I want to do.
Today I will eat regular meals that are healthy for me.
Today I will not let my laziness determine what gets done.
Today I will not be distracted by silly things.
Today I will refrain from slacking my way through cover letters and job applications.
Today I will not get lost in what could be, but be active in what is.
Today I will make a list and a schedule and I will stick to it.

Today starts now.